So I moved from Chicago to Atlanta.

Facts about my life:
- i am currently listening to a band called Fannypack and it is truly awful. I hope you don't secretly synthesize for that band.

- am really starting to love Atlanta. A lot.

-It hasn't been below 90 during the day since i moved here September 5th.

- I have a lap pool AND a salt water giant pool at my fingertips 24 hours a day.

-My Cat likes to sleep IN THE BATHROOM SINK

- I have stopped drinking. For now. I have consequently lost about 7 pounds.

- I bought a car. it is light blue and has RIMS. Like, 20 inch rims.

- I cried in front of my boss today because someone at the office thinks i can't do my job properly because i am 24 and i am a woman. I cried for womankind- not because i really give a shit if he thinks i am qualified.

- I eat a lot of chocolate now (this is why he weightloss has to be from non-drinking activities and possibly an increase in swimming, running, boxing- etc.

-I have decided I just don't like relationships. and then quickly decided i really love them I just make decisions too quickly and end up with the wrong type of dudes.

- Cursing is TRULY a favorite past time of mine. And i no I don't think it makes me seem less intelligent you fucking assholes. 

- Being white in this neighborhood makes me a minority. Not an understatement. But unlike my fretting mother suspected I am totally happy and MAKING FRIENDS who don't care that I am (gasp) white.

-I had a nightmare the other night that aliens broke into my apartment and tied me up in twine and drug me backwards out the front door. Scary but not that weird.
When i walked into my living room the next morning the balcony door was WIDE open and all the lights were on. the front door was still locked. i live on the third floor with no possible way to get up my balcony short of a fire truck. Also- i had these huge burn marks on my forearms. I'm not sayin.....but i am kinda sayin. I slept with my dresser against the door the next night.

On THAT note.

PS. i leave for Key West for a management trip this weekend. And by management they mean a trip where all the leaders get drunk and talk about product integration and VPN's, And possibly go swimming in the dark under unadvisable conditions.

Wish me luck. And don't think too hard about the alien story.

Just two unusual ring shaped galaxies hanging out. This is a real picture from the Hubble. The one made of stars is 30, 000 light years in diameter. The reason they are both shaped liked that is because both of the galaxies COLLIDED recently (in human years). That means the galaxies moved through one another.

Brian is studied space and time right now and I have started doing my research at www.nasa.gov. I only allow myself a half an hour at a time reading about the universe because after that amount of time I can guarantee that my mind is blown and I am a useless sputtering mass in my computer chair.

On Saturday morning I awoke with severe period cramps. With a week and a half to go till my next period.  I joked on the train ride home that I wanted to keel over and die. It really wasn't bad at all just some cramps. Then I began to feel nauseous. And then my lower back started to hurt. My friend Megan threw up a few times from our drinking escapades the night before so I kept my mouth shutabout feeling crummy.  I got home and napped for 2.5 hours.

I woke with teh worst stomach pain of my life. My friend from Florida was in for the weekend and was supposed to be coming over around 9 pm that Saturday. And we were going to do the Melanoma 5k the next morning. I laid on the carpet as she dragged her things up the stairs. I spoke a few sentences to her about boys and running. While drifting in and out of sleep on the rug. She nudged me and asked for a glass of water please before she went to sleep for the night. "You better get feeling better and run that race tomorrow!" I walked at a 90 degree angle down the stairs and held myself up on the wall all the way to the kitchen for some water. Brian's parents furrowed their brows in concern. They told me I had to get to the hospital before my appendix ruptured! I hadn't even thought that there might be something wrong medical wise until this point. I shook my head and water glass and all curled up next to the dog in the middle of the downstairs living room. Brian was out with friends.

By 11:45 I was screaming hysterically and kicking my legs as the ER nurse threaded an IV up my arm and got me on a saline drip. Brian scueezed my hand as I rolled around on my tiny bed telling him I felt like I was DYING. "I don't understand why they just don't take myappendix out already!" I wanted them to stop pressing on my excrutiatingly sore belly and just cut me open and rip out my organs. For the next 6 hours they took blood, pumped multiple pain killers and bags of clear stuff into my IV, I grabbed the doctor by his white jacket when he pushed too hard, they made me drink this awful black dye for an hour that made me sick to my stomach, another cup without the grape juice to cut it down that tasted like battery acid mixed with ink pens and (i guess?) They picked me up and put me on a guerny and rolled me to my cat scan table. In my thong and open back gown I jumped off the table in front of 5 staff and bolted for the bathroom. I gagged and gagged and nothing would comeout. Then they pinned my arms over my head on the cat scan table and pumped clear goo into my shunt. And then dye which they said would give me a hot feeling like I would pee my pants. I said "what if I do pee my pants becuase I have been too lazy to go for the last 2 hours and I just might" and they said "wellt hen you would be the first".

And then they told me to go home. There was nothing wrong. Just some liquid in my pelvis.

SO ANYWAY. it is tuesday. 4 days I have been walking like the Hunchback and no one has given me a straight answer. The gyno told me he think I haev a ruptured cyst on my ovary. but that doesn't really explain the blood in my bowels (not coming out, just floating around in my body near my bowel area). But it would give explanation to the pool of blood in my pelvis. "So just eat and drink when you can, take these two pain meds and go back to work when you feel like it".

Thanks $250. You were worth it

Does any one else HATE going to doctors. My mom and I discussed going to an alternative medicine clinic. But they are costly and you can't have insurance cover it. When I am rich I will have my own personal witch doctor.

Has anyone out there been to an alternative medicine clinic? Is it worth it?

I can't believe that none of the LJ people on here I have like "holy shit an earthquake!"

so,

HOLY SHIT AN EARTHQUAKE happened last night at 4 am. TWICE. and then a really tiny aftershock at 10am. That made my day/year/life. I never thought I would have the opportunity to go around being like "yeah, just a few coffee cups fell over, and some things went flying off shelves. No big deal." I guess the earthquake was the strongest about an hour south of me.

My mom called me at 9 am waking me out of a dead sick sleep. I wiped the snot off my face and croaked "Hellllo?"

"Lara! Did you survive the earthquake last night?"

"Oh my god. Mom. I thought it was a tornado. But it was really loud and then SILENT. and I thought I was going to get sucked up in a tornado. When I poked Brian to tell him that we were having a tornado or an earthquake he just said 'Illinois doesn't get earthquakes' and fell back asleep!"

"I thought there was a cat trapped in our closet and jumping around! I even got out of bed and told you dad to help me look."

I finally concluded the conversation by telling my mom that I had a dream after the intial earthquake (still not knowing what had happened) that I was living in a castle with Goliath and every time he walked around the whole house moved! I laughed really hard this morning when my light-sleeping roommate told me "Lara I was awake for the whole thing, but I was too scared to walk all the way to your room and wake you up!"

Ahh, the mysteries of the night.

I always get pulled to the siren song of Wal-MArt. THE LOW PRICES! The ease of it all! The freedom of miles of aisles packed with high fructose corn syrup and 35 brands of sel-tanner! SELF CHECKOUT. I even bought an arsenal of cloth bags to make me feel a LITTLE less bad about my shopping at this economy sucking hell hole.

UNTIL today. I realized as i was driving down the highway that I couldn't do it. In all honesty, it was the knowledge of all the soccer moms with their snotty-faced children and 7 shopping carts, blocking the aisles that made me do a ridiculous 180 on a busy street and floor it to county Market. I know, I know. I should be shopping at the uber-expensive Health Food Store downtown. but SERIOUSLY- it is 5.50 for a box of boca meat there when I can get it at county market for 3.39 (or Wal-Mart for even less, obviously).

County Market was like finding a mecca in Mobile Alabama. There were about 6 cars in the WHOLE parking lot. And the people that were shopping there were about 6 litle white haired ladies on mobilized carts. My heart skipped a beat when I realized they have  things even Super Wal-Mart does not have! Like a quart of Silk instead of those gigantic things that you have to buy at wal-dogs that alone, I can't drink in even 3 weeks. They also have a whole "health food section" that is adorably soy milk, organic pancake mix and some canned organic beans or something. It was like shopping in the 70's. The best part of the whole day was when I was pushing my heavy cart of 70 dollars worth of cloth-bagged groceries through the parking lot tornado and a 30-ish good-looking man TIPPED HIS HAT and said "pardon me, miss."  I smiled all the way home.

My grandmother on my mom's side finally passed away last night after a 9 year battle with Alzheimer's. It was suprisingly shocking to get the news even though I had known that she was ready to pass for the last week now. I will miss going to see her at the hospital and gripping her warm hands. I will miss the way she turned her head to see my mom and I enter the room every Sunday, even though she didn't bother to look whe the nurses came into the room. My throat closes up when I think of my grandpa sitting all alone in his bed at the nursing home. When my family came in to tell him his wife had passed he told them he loved them all but "I think I will go to sleep now". It breaks my heart to think of him mourning in solitude...I want to run in and wrap my arms around him frail body and tell him that I know he wants to be with her and that he will be very soon. My grandparents were/are incredible Christians. My mom keeps praising Jesus that her mother introduced her to the word of God and her undying devotion to him. I really and truly believe that my grandpa will not hold on more than a week before he follows my grandma to heaven. I am her namesake. Named Laura Marie after her Laura Evelyn.

I hope we sing "I'll Fly Away" at her funeral. It seems like nothing could be more fitting after a cruel 9 years chained to her sick body. I hope this isn't too hard.

So I don't post very often anymore, BUT I thought this was worth sharing with you guys:

Released from the FDA; maximum allowable contaminants for human consumption

Brussels sprouts: 10 aphids per ounce
Shelled peanuts: 1 insect per 5 pounds
Gold raisins: 4 fly eggs per ounce
Tomato juice: 3 fly eggs per ounce
Popcorn: 2 rodent hairs per ounce
Peanut butter: 9 insect fragments per ounce
Canned mushrooms: 5 maggots per ounce
Whole peppercorns: 1% mammalian excretia


Oh yum. I used to use canned mushrooms. BUT NEVER AGAIN. and PEANUT BUTTER, my love, oh....never again....at least for a week.

I don't know how to do ANYTHING on this thing. Like make links to pages. So here, copy this link and go to it and then post me a comment about how it is the most favorite thing you have ever seen and you are going to run out and buy one and set it in your room and laugh and laugh at it and make your friends wear it around the house, like I will. LINDSEY for some reason I immediately thought of you and I could see us laughing and laughing if I actually bought this and wore it out to the bars. I miss you.

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